


go easy on me (baby)

by foamskyandsea (plainjane8)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Getting Back Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Soft Boys, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23266369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plainjane8/pseuds/foamskyandsea
Summary: “Fuck you man,” Steve feels a little like he’s going to shake out of his skin. He hasn’t heard a single word from Billy in weeks. They’d been making spring break plans, laughing over breakfast while Billy made fun of him. And then nothing. Nothing.Steve had texted, he’d sent dm’s, snaps—he even tried calling. N o t h i n g.And now Billy wants to come pick him up like it’s just another night.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 4
Kudos: 203





	go easy on me (baby)

**Author's Note:**

> life imitating art or the reverse? lmk
> 
> title from "Go Easy" by Matt Maeson
> 
> no beta, my mistakes are my own

Steve’s phone buzzes in his pocket at 7PM on a Thursday night in April and it takes every ounce of self-restraint he has not to check it. He only lasts two minutes.

_Wanna talk. Pick u up in 10?_

Steve’s halfway through telling Billy to go fuck himself off a cliff before he even realizes he’s clenching his jaw. Shit. He knows his therapist was saying some shit about not letting his stress manifest into bad habits or some other nonsense. What the fuck ever.

Steve’s deciding between telling Billy just what he thinks of him or just ghosting him and giving him a taste of his own medicine when his phone vibrates again in his hand and this time it doesn’t stop. Steve can’t help but answer it.

“Who the fuck even calls people anymore, man?

“Quit avoiding the question, Harrington. You gonna be ready in 10 or what?”

“Fuck you man,” Steve feels a little like he’s going to shake out of his skin. He hasn’t heard a single word from Billy in _weeks._ They’d been making spring break plans, laughing over breakfast while Billy made fun of him. And then nothing. Nothing.

Steve had texted, he’d sent dm’s, snaps—he even tried calling. N o t h i n g.

And now Billy wants to come pick him up like it’s just another night.

He can hear Billy sigh on the other end of the call.

“I’m already on my way. Can you just get ready?” Billy sounds tired. Steve can picture him pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He’s always annoyed when Steve is taking too long.

“No, I’m not fucking getting ready. What are you talking about? Where have you been?”

Billy sighs again and Steve feels his stomach sink a little further. He doesn’t want to see Billy just to get dumped. Or whatever you call a break up between people who were never really dating. It doesn’t matter. Billy just fucking disappeared for weeks and now Steve’s just supposed to jump the minute Billy decides to reappear? No fucking way.

“Listen, Harrington—” Steve can tell Billy is getting annoyed now, “Steve. Just be ready and we can talk. I’m almost there already.”

Billy disconnects the call before Steve has a chance to argue back and all Steve feels is dread. Cold and thick through his veins. He doesn’t want to see Billy. Doesn’t need a reminder of how stupid he’s been. How silly. Pining over a boy who clearly doesn’t want him. A boy who doesn’t even care to text him back. Steve want nothing to do with Billy Hargrove.

He’s slipping his shoes on when Billy pulls up outside.

The windows are all down when Steve slides into the passenger seat and Steve almost makes a comment about the wind messing up Billy’s hair until Steve remembers. They’re over. It’s all over and this is just the post mortem.

Billy drops a hand on Steve’s thigh and it’s warm and heavy. Too heavy. Steve feels trapped. This was a mistake. Steve should’ve stayed home and ignored Billy’s calls just like Billy had ignored his.

“Steve. Baby, would you just look at me?” Steve looks down at Billy’s hand on his thigh, out the window at the street lights just turning on, down at his sneakers in the footwell of the car, anywhere but at Billy.

“What do you want? One last fuck or something? Can we just get it over with?”

Steve fucked around in college enough to know how this goes. You mess around with someone for a while. Things are good. Really good. Then someone gets bored. You drift apart. Stop texting and start ghosting. Maybe you reconnect one last time if the sex is good enough. Maybe not. Then you move the fuck on.

Steve gets it. It’s just that this felt different. Billy felt different. They’d starting making spring break plans. They’d talked about going to Billy’s frat’s stupid formal in May. Things had felt different.

Billy pulls away from the curb and they ride in silence for minutes. It feels longer. Steve knows he should’ve stayed home. He knows it was stupid to actually like Billy. He knows better that to get attached. It’s just that it’s too fucking late now and he doesn’t want to be here. Doesn’t want to listen to Billy tell him about how he was good but not _that good_. Or how it was never serious to begin him. Or any of the other dozen douchey excuses he’s sure Billy has on hand for situations like this.

“Fuck, pull over. Pull over!”

Steve already opening the door as Billy’s swerving onto the end of some dirt road outside of town. It’s so dark outside of town but it’s the first warm night in what feels like _years_ and Steve finally feels like he can breathe.

He hears Billy’s door swing open and then click close. He can hear Billy walk up behind him, close enough to touch but not too close. He hears Billy shuffling in his pockets and then the _snick_ of a lighter.

“Thought you were quitting?” It comes out before Steve can stop it and he wishes he hadn’t said anything. It sounds too personal. Too much like he cares.

“I’m working on it. It’s been a rough few weeks.” Billy exhales and Steve can smell the smoke wafting past him.

Steve doesn’t answer. Doesn’t know what he can say here that won’t give him away. He just stands on the dirt road, trying desperately not to fidget as he looks out into the darkness.

“I—” Billy starts and stops just as abruptly. “I’m not, I’m not out at home. I know it’s fucking fine and all that shit about support systems and living your truth or whatever. I know—I know I’m fucking out here and it’s fucking fine and all. But I’m not out at home. I _can’t_ be out at home.”

Steve finally looks over at Billy and finds him staring straight up. Eyes to the sky and cigarette hanging off his lip. He doesn’t know what to say. Billy’s been out since sophomore year. That had nothing to with Steve.

“My dad found a picture on Max’s phone. He’s not—” Billy chuckles and it sounds insincere, _mean_ even. “It doesn’t matter actually. He’s not a problem anymore.”

Steve feels a little hollow, a little caught off guard.

“Wait, what? Billy! What? Are you okay? _Is Max okay?_ ” It comes out a little squeaky, too concerned.

“Yeah it’s fine. The bruises healed. Max is okay.”

“The bruises—the bruises healed?!” Steve’s aware that he’s yelling now but it doesn’t really matter. It’s just the two of them and the stars out here.

Steve doesn’t realize how off-kilter he is until Billy’s fingers slide over his wrist, just a bit too tight.

“Babe, _stop_. You’re gonna freak. It’s fine. I took care of it.” Billy’s hand is warm and he’s looking right at Steve.

Steve feels like an idiot. “I—Is that why you disappeared? I thought—” Steve can’t finish the sentence. What would he say?

_I thought you were breaking up with me._

_I thought you didn’t want me._

Steve clears his throat and it feels like swallowing glass, “I was worried. I thought something might’ve happened.”

Billy’s hand leaves his wrist to curl around his jaw, warm fingers slipping through the hair behind his ear.

“Something did happen. But I took care of it and now I’m here.” Steve closes his eyes. Doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel. What he’s supposed to do.

When he opens his eyes again, everything feels a little darker and Billy is still right there in front of him, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth.

“You can’t just disappear Billy. I could’ve helped. I would’ve helped.” Steve still doesn’t know exactly what happened—isn’t sure he really wants to. But he just knows that he’s such a sucker for Billy that he would’ve helped no matter what.

“I know you would’ve. But I couldn’t ask that of you. It’s not your problem.”

It makes Steve a little angry, fiery. What’s the point of all of this if Billy’s problems aren’t Steve’s too?

Steve reaches for Billy and ends up with a fistful of his jacket.

“That’s not fucking fair Billy. You can’t fucking disappear for weeks, show back up like nothing ever happened even though something fucking did and somehow it’s not my problem?! I don’t—”

Steve pushes Billy away, wanting a little air and a little more space. He feels like he’s about to spill over, too full of emotion and he needs to make room.

“I thought you were fucking done with me or whatever. And like it’s _fine_ I guess. But now you’re back and I still don’t know what’s going on and none of it’s _my_ problem?!”

Steve exhales and he hates how much he hates the space between them.

When Billy approaches this time it’s slower, cautious. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. And I’m sorry I said that it isn’t your problem. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I didn’t want to dump my shit on you.”

It’s so quiet for a moment. Just the early spring crickets and the stars.

Steve’s hands are shaking when he grabs for Billy again, “I want you to dump your shit on me.” Steve pulls him all the way in and when they kiss it’s too wet and a little off center. Billy tastes like fresh smoke and Steve still wants to cry. He feels like they’re still miles apart. Steve still stuck in his apartment pining like a teenage girl and Billy off fighting some battle Steve knows nothing of.

Billy pulls back to break the kiss and just looks at Steve for a moment. “Hey baby. It’s okay.” He sounds soft and quiet, using a voice Steve hasn’t heard before. The kind you’d use around small children or scared animals.

Steve doesn’t know why it feels like this is his fault. “I know it’s okay but it’s not fucking fine. You can’t just disappear and show back up and expect that I’ve just been sitting around waiting for you! You can’t just say ‘ _I took care of it´_ and not expect me to ask what the fuck you’re talking about!”

They both know that Steve’s been waiting around for Billy. They both know he still cares. Steve’s hoping Billy won’t point it out.

“Listen,” Billy’s hand goes tight around the back of Steve’s neck and Steve’s knees want to buckle, “I know I disappeared and I know I fucked up. I know I wasn’t fair to you and that’s on me. But like, I can make it up to you. I _will_ make it up to you.” Billy exhales and it’s so warm and so close, “If you want.”

Steve’s not the brightest, not the quickest or the smartest but even he can recognize a bad idea barreling full speed towards him. He still can’t say no.

“Let’s go back to my place.”

The drive back to Steve’s apartment feels shorter than the drive out of town had. Steve feels off kilter. Out of sorts. He knows better than to fall back into bed with Billy. Knows better than to believe the apologies and the promises. But like. He’s fucking weak, _okay?_ Isn’t it better to have Billy one last time, knowing it’s the last time than to have to wallow in the misery of his not-a-breakup breakup?

As they climb up the worn, dirty outdoor stairs to Steve’s apartment, he prays that Robin has left for her shift already. It’s one thing to accept that he’s an idiot who can’t say no to Billy Hargrove, it’s another thing to listen to Robin give him shit about it for the foreseeable future.

As soon as they make it into the apartment, Billy’s already heading for the bedroom, tossing his keys and wallet on the counter. It feels weird to see him back here again, so comfortable in Steve’s kitchen.

Billy’s toeing off his boots in the doorway and flopping back on Steve’s bed and suddenly it’s just too much. He can’t just pretend that he’s not upset. He can’t pretend that Billy didn’t ghost him for weeks. Can’t pretend that Billy doesn’t have some crazy drama shit going on with his family that apparently Steve knew nothing about this whole time. He can’t pretend that he hasn’t caught feelings.

“Billy, fuck. Billy—I can’t” Steve feels like an idiot. Feels like he’s on the edge of crying again.

Billy’s bouncing back up off the bed in an instant, “Hey baby, what did I say? It’s fine. Let’s just chill and we can figure shit out later.”

Steve must be missing something. They don’t really just _hang out_. Sure, sometimes they throw on Netflix after they fuck. And sometimes they go to Sonic and hotbox afterwards but like. They don’t just hang out, sober and clothed.

But Billy’s tugging him down onto the bed and piling blankets on top of him and they’re both still fully dressed. When Billy finally has Steve and the blankets arranged the way he wants, he’s curling up against Steve, a leg thrown over Steve’s hips and his chin digging a sharp point on Steve’s chest.

The window is open and even now that the sun has set, the breeze rolling in is warm. The first warm night of the year. Billy is thumbing through the Netflix library and for all the uncertainty of the night, Steve can’t help but think that this feels a lot like home. This might be the scariest part of all.

“Billy?”

The other boy doesn’t get up but Steve can feel his head turn where it’s resting on his chest. “Yeah, babe? You too hot?”

“Are we like—are we okay?”

Billy presses a kiss to Steve’s chest and bites down a little, leaving Steve’s shirt warm and wet.

“We’ll be fine.”

“And you and Max—your family… You guys are okay?”

“Yeah Steve. We’ll figure it out.”

Steve nods, doesn’t know what else to do. _They’ll_ figure it out. Billy and Max. Billy’s dad and Max’s mom. They’ll figure it out.

“You’re not listening babe,” Billy fists a hand in the hair at the side of Steve’s head. Tugs just enough to hurt.

“ _We’ll_ figure this out.”


End file.
